Top 10 Planning Points

Going through all my old stuff as part of the New Year clean-out, found some very old advice from a tax accountant. At least ten years on, some of it is certain to be out of date (China was third in the list of Top Ten Shit Places to go for Tax Reasons as I'm kind of assuming they're more liberal now), but I think the ten planning points still stand:
1. Don't put your hand down the toilet on a plane.
2. Don't take chocolate from an Italian.
3. Never pass up on the opportunity to take a piss.
4. Avoid hanging out with Journalists in Somalia.
5. Don't have sex in Kenya
6. When people laugh at your jokes check your flies
7. Never fuck with Samoan Rugby players
8. Stronzo doesn't mean beautiful in Italian.
9. Arabs drive in the middle of the road
10.Don't try getting off with Snow White at Disney World.
(Myself, I've only profited from point 8, which I learnt when impressionable and even now can use as a useful interjection with my Italian chums. Well, chum.)