Wednesday, February 10, 2010


I had a shock today when I weighed myself - 174.5 lbs. I was so gobsmacked that I lacked even the basic arithmetic to convert that into stones.

Either I've put on more than twenty-five pounds, or the scales at the gym are slightly inaccurate. Which could it be? On the one hand, I am still fairly scrawny, but on the other hand I'm usually holding a sandwich that I'm stuffing into my gob. Or some crisps. Or a cake.

I figured I was eating too much crap, so I've started eating more fruit. Unfortunately, I'm still eating all the crap, plus the fruit, so now I'm going to be a fat bloke who's full of vitamins. At least that will make me attractive to cannibals.

Maybe I'm getting worried over nothing. Or perhaps by saying that, I'm just in denial. Or my body image is warped by hanging around in Hong Kong, where a twenty-inch waist seems the norm. Whatever it is, I'm so depressed I need a big bit of cake to cheer myself up.

I was a bit down last night after comedy. Or annoyed. Or envious. Who can truly say? An english guy with good delivery did a set about jihadists that was mainly swearing (not something you usually see in Hong Kong) and then some stuff that felt very phoned in from the UK (a rant about petrol prices and 50 Cent, when hardly anyone in the audience even appeared to know what a car is).

But I don't feel that Islamic fundamentalists (and by extension, all people of Islamic faith, because in the reverse telescope of that kind of mindset, THEY'RE ALL THE SAME) are so great a target for comedy in Hong Kong. It's not like we have terrorists (real or imagined) in this little SAR of ours, and having a go at Muslims when there's none in the crowd smacks of bullying somebody you're sure isn't going to retaliate. And there's no need for such quasi-racist, I'm-so-shocking casual mean-mindedness. I mean, if you start attacking Muslims just for their religion, you're just full of prejudice. The only way it would be worse is if you were . And who wants to stoop to the level of those s?

Just reweighed myself. 168 lbs. But that's still almost 14 stone. Can I really be that fat?  Can I be that bad at arithmetic?  14 pounds in a stone. That's 12 exactly. Or maybe some more.

I'd say 'phew' but that might just be because I'm out of breath from walking up stairs.  Off to England tomorrow - goodbye overzealous airconditioning, hello winter!


Hen Goodchild said...

I'm 182 (exactly 13 st), so I don't think you need to worry, except about your maths. Especially since I sit on my arse, and you run marathons.

I blame it on getting older...

Hen Goodchild said...

Also, I've ruined your Comments(0) record. Sorry!

Mr Cushtie said...

Dash it, Hen! Now I'll have to change it to Comments (0.01) and who'll want to read that?

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