Put them by the toilet

When the day is long and exhaustion threatens to leach the joy from life, I keep my spirits up by reading transcripts of Ryanair's investor briefings. Michael O'Leary, the accountant-turned-dark overlord of the European aviation industry is a master of the blarney. Despite being a man with a job that is mostly office bound, he seems desperate to come across like a muck-covered prize pig farmer, returning from the Big City to tell the other denizens of his ten-pub, nine-person village about the terrible things he's seen.