Kew Gardens

Took a girl to Kew Gardens. Learnt several things.

• Kew Gardens is very expensive, unless you think it's alright to pay £11.75 to troll around some grass while every thirty seconds a jumbo jet flies overhead


• Don't go in the greenhouses if it's 28 degrees outside. You're not going to find respite from the heat in there


• But if you do, you'll see a sign that curiously uses the weight of 'an average television set' (30kg, apparently) to describe how heavy a seed pod is


• There's a bloody big bonsai on display


• Finally, and most importantly, just because Kew Gardens advertises the compost heap on the map of attractions, and despite it being one of the largest compost heaps in Britain, it doesn't seem to inspire romantic thoughts in the women who look upon it

That is all.