Correct nomenclature for carpenters

There's an expanding list of things I should have done this week; today I added running to that list.


I suppose I could have gone for a run. And had dinner. And seen Wali Collins. But if I'd tried to do all three, something would have been compromised. I would have done my run without proper commitment, and flaked out early. I would have gone to see Mr Collins while fighting back the urge to sleep. Or I would have brought my dinner back up. Or all three. Who knows? I am a consummate multi-tasker, I think I have a fair shot at doing the triple.

But instead I wimped out, went home and ate some soup, and then very nearly spent all evening trying to watch every trailer in the world for Zombieland. (It's got Chuck, or Cheese, or Woody, or whatever the name of the amiable doofus from Cheers was called. He must be glad he's not getting typecast - it's not as if I remember his name. Woody. But who would call themselves Woody? An unimaginative tree surgeon? Somebody who smells of pine needles? A carpenter? No, that would be silly. Jesus is a better name for a carpenter. It comes with precedent.)

After half an hour of simultaneously eating soup and staring at Youtube, enough was enough. I made a stand and put my foot down. (I told you I was good at multi-tasking.). Off I went, in search of comedy.

Or a bloke from out of town I could try to bully into buying my novel. These days, what's the difference?