Questionably drunk

Tonight I went to a quiz night, the first time in at least a decade. It was an odd affair: in a darkened room hidden on the first floor of a building in Causeway Bay, with very cheap drinks and a very complicated door, which meant although it was easy to get drunk in, it was hard to get out of. A bit like a land war in Asia.

Hang on, that's the wrong analogy, for sure. I've been wilfully wrong with language today, boasting on Facebook that

I'm the best simile you ever met

before reconsidering and declaring that

I'm like a bad metaphor

I was so pleased with these that I emailed them to a chum, boasting that I was about to drink some delicious coffee, which he misread as deciduous coffee.

Although I think that joke was probably a plant.

Anyway, the quiz went from incredibly easy ("what's the number of the beast in The Omen?") to mindbendingly difficult ("what's Tom Cruise's real name?") and back again. It was missing my favourite two pub-quiz questions ("how many mickles make a muckle?" and "how many 'la's are there in Kylie Minogue's 'Can't Get You Out Of My Head?") but it was still an amusing way to spend an evening.

We didn't come last, and one of the questions was about Bowie's Space Oddity, which meant I got to mention that the uncle of a friend from Beckenham did the handclaps on that song, an unimpressive boast to make at any time, but especially after two Coronas and three bowls of crisps.

However, I had to rush home because in my bag was a copy of Strange Powers, the Magnetic Fields documentary that's just out on DVD. The first fifteen minutes are pretty good, although a worrying sign that I may have lived in Hong Kong too long is that Stephin Merritt's studio apartment looks remarkably spacious.

I paid for Strange Powers last year before it was released, so its arrival doesn't mean I've broken my resolution to buy more DVDs. Unfortunately, we did buy three DVDs at the weekend: Mean Girls (not quite as good as I remember), Drag Me To Hell (lots of banging noises, satisfactorily making my fiancee yelp) and Black Sheep (which I've yet to watch this decade - saw it in 2008 in a very swish apartment I used to live in). Oh well. As long as nobody finds out, maybe I haven't broken this resolution.