A visit to the doctor

In order to get life insurance, I have to have a physical examination first, to ensure I'm not trying to game the system by having no lungs, or weighing three times as much as an average man of my age and height.

Bad Start

This morning we found a dying gecko on our kitchen floor. It lay on a tile, only quivering one of its legs when we touched it, otherwise immobile. There was no obvious wound that it had suffered, although its head was much darker than its body, as if it had massive bruising.

Time to trim some fat

I went to the doctor today and he laughed at my cholesterol. That is the kind of medical professional you want.

Running

Today I went to the medical centre to pick up my report, after my prodding and poking back in December. Rather than being sat down with the doctor to discuss the cheesiness of my blood, I was ushered into another room where a nurse asked me to take my top off.

Unfat

I went to see the doctor this morning, to find out how fat I was.

Some doctors have a prized bedside manner. My doctor has the unrivalled ability to convince you that he cares not a jot for your wellbeing. I arrived on time to see the patient before me leave his consulting room, and then had fifteen minutes to read the South China Morning Post before I was called in.